5 Things Most Moms Will Tell You As A New Parent

This guest post was made in collaboration with Angeline of Life With Gormleys.

Being a new parent is scary as it is exciting. If you’re still carrying your little one inside of you, it is though you feel like there’s just so many unknowns and you’re not sure if you’re going to do it right. Trust me, I’ve been there. The truth is, the anticipation is much more anxiety-inducing than the experience itself!

The moment your child goes out into the world, your “mama” hormones start kicking in. You’ll suddenly know what to do, or at least you’ll use your specialized instincts to know how to do things. That being said, I still do wish that there are some things I wish most moms told me about what I’ll experience as a new parent. Today, I will be sharing with you those things.

Your postpartum recovery may take time.

Many moms focus a lot on the first few weeks of caring for the baby, such as knowing sleep schedules, wake windows, changing diapers and the like. I felt like letting me know about the pain of postpartum was overshadowed completely about the baby!

Thus, I am here letting you know that the pain afterwards of delivering a baby may take time. For me, it took almost 8 weeks to completely heal. I had a second-degree tear which required multiple surgeries, as I had to go back for suspected bleeding. I guess everybody’s experience is different—but I am here to tell you that this is a possibility.

Whether you’re delivering standard, CS, or whatnot, you’ll still need that time to recover. Prepare yourself mentally for the physical pain and inconvenience that you may experience. Although, do know that you’ll usually forget all of these things as the sight of your precious baby! I am just here to warn you about this.

Your baby essentials may look different from other moms.

When I was pregnant, I was one of those moms-to-be watching YouTube videos and reading blogs about baby essentials. I bought a crib feeling like it will be the thing I will be using the most as a first-time parent.

Well, that’s $200 down the drain! Not exactly, as I still use it to contain my toddler. However, I ended up co-sleeping in the first few months and switched to a floor bed. My baby is an ‘active sleeper’ which meant he wanted a free space to roll around without bumping his head or falling over.

My point is, your situation is unique to you. This means that your baby is different from other babies, and their needs and essentials can look a little different. You can buy as much as you want, but in the end,  you will most likely use some things more and feel like you wasted money on other things some moms considered essential.

You can be your own worst critic.

Sadly, this is the least-spoken truth about us moms. There’s Mother’s Day to empower us, benefits from the government, and campaigns to help moms succeed in their vocation.

However, we can sometimes be our own worst critics in parenting. Whenever we do something that isn’t our ideal, we berate ourselves and feel guilty about our decisions. We judge ourselves to the point of discouragement.

I am here to tell you that it happens to the best of us. Don’t let your inner critic discourage you. In some instances, you have to rationalize that whatever parenting decision you made, it was the best at that time given your circumstances. You may be guilted into thinking that there are super parents who did it better than you, but you have to remember that you own your unique situation. We are all in the same journey, but not in the same boat.

Lift your head up, learn from your experiences, and find ways to be kind to yourself.

Your love for your baby grows over time.

In the first few months, you’ll experience very challenging days. Things such as sleep regression, teething, breastfeeding problems are some situations you may encounter. At times, you’ll question yourself, “Am I fit to be a parent?” when you feel like you’re ‘failing’. You’ll even question at those frustrating moments if you truly, deeply love your baby.

Know that you are not a ‘bad person’ for having these thoughts. In fact, they are completely normal and can happen (again) to any new parent!

The truth is, your love for your baby grows over time. Like a developing relationship, you’re just starting to get to know your baby in their early months. Later on, they will develop a personality that’s distinct from yours. You’ll learn about them as they turn into toddlers, children, and even adults. Don’t think you’re a bad parent for questioning these things and just trust the process.

Your life will completely change in all aspects.

Most parents will tell you that their life changed in terms of priorities or schedules, but that is just the surface of the truth. The truth is, when you become a parent, your life will completely change in a myriad of ways.

You’ll realize that some of the things you will be doing will be for your child’s future. The reason why you advocate for certain causes is to give your child the best chance in life. You’ll find purpose and meaning in being a parent, and that is a wonderful thing.

I hope you look forward to parenting with a positive attitude. Some of us are facing anxiety or uncertainty during this time, but I hope this post will be an encouragement to many first-time parents that they are capable and that they can be the best versions of themselves taking on this very special role.

Angeline is a speech pathologist, healthcare writer, blogger, military wife and a mom of 1. She enjoys traveling, writing, and learning new things. A go-getter and Type A personality by heart, she believes in making the most of every situation while having faith to push through. You can visit her marriage, family, spiritual, and lifestyle blog at lifewithgormleys.com.